Thoughts on Yom Kippur 5781
During the High Holidays we reflect on the moral actions and decisions we have made over the past year. We wonder if we have harmed our loved ones and the people around us. If we find guilt in ourselves, we ask for forgiveness. When it comes to sin, the interpersonal relationship involved is generally trilateral: between two human beings and God. You could argue that is not the case for the sins committed exclusively against God, but even those often affect other human beings, again leading us to a kind of trilateral relationship. However, In some of the rabbinic stories yet another ‘person’ is involved:
Satan comes on the Day of Atonement to accuse Israel and he specifies the iniquities of Israel, saying: Master of the Universe, there are adulterers among the nations of the earth, so, too, among Israel. There are thieves among the nations of the earth; so, too, among Israel. Then what does He do? He suspends the beam of the scales and looks to see what the balance or imbalance is between the iniquities and the just deeds. And as they are weighed – the iniquities against the just deeds, these against those – the two pans of the scale balance exactly. Thereupon Satan goes out to fetch more iniquities to put in the pan of iniquities and bring it down. What does the Holy One, blessed be He, do? Even while Satan is going about seeking iniquities, the Holy One, blessed be He, takes the iniquities out of the pan and hides them under His royal purple. Then Satan comes and finds no iniquity on the scale, as is said: The iniquity of Israel shall be sought for, and there shall be none (Jeremiah 50:20) / Pesikta Rabbati 50:615
Will God hide our iniquities under His royal purple? I deeply believe He will. The question is what we will do with it afterward, and this is where our primarily focus should lie. We should never give up working to become a better person: this is an important but constant, long-term goal. Nevertheless, more importantly, we should be making peace and forgiving one another. What we need most for the good of all Jewish communities in which we live and the non-Jewish communities which surround us is to be open to one another, culturally and intellectually. Today that manifests in striving to cross our new tribal boundaries (which only years ago were called political affiliations) and do one’s upmost to fight against a priori assumptions, that “they are wrong”, made to feel good in our own tribe. We should instead listen and hear the arguments and the logic of your neighbors, especially if you don’t agree on the surface.
Our Day of Atonement is experienced as a group, communal experience, as it is the case with all our holidays and our religion in general. A Jew is not a Jew without a community. Thus, we make our confession communally and publicly. We make these confessions both as individuals and as the Jewish community. In our confessional prayers, like Ashamnu, we confess many sins:
Ashamnu – we have trespassed;
Bagadnu – we have dealt treacherously;
Gazalnu – we have robbed;
Dibarnu dofi – we have spoken slander;
He’evinu – we have acted perversely;
V’hirshanu – we have done wrong;
Zadnu – we have acted presumptuously;
Hamasnu – we have done violence;
Tafalnu sheker – we have practiced deceit;
Yaatsnu ra – we have counseled evil;
Kizavnu – we have spoken falsehood;
Latsnu – we have scoffed;
Maradnu – we have revolted;
Niatsnu – we have blasphemed;
Sararnu – we have rebelled;
Avinu – we have committed iniquity;
Pashanu – we have transgressed;
Tsararnu – we have oppressed;
Kishinu oref – we have been stiff necked;
Rashanu – we have acted wickedly;
Shichatnu – we have dealt corruptly;
Tiavnu – we have committed abomination;
Tainu – we have gone astray;
Titanu – we have led others astray.
Hopefully, we as individuals, have not committed all of these sins. Just the same, we are responsible for one another and we share the responsibility of our Jewish community as a whole. On this day we stand before God as one man. As it is mentioned above, in the rabbinic story, our iniquities and good deeds are collectively added. We are judged by God as a people, as a whole, and we are indeed judged by other peoples as a people, as a whole. Our tradition has been always aware of this and that is an unpleasant aspect of our chosenness. People have judged and will judge other people on the base of identity. No matter how much we address it or fight it we will probably never completely eradicate this human tendency because it seems to be a part of human nature, probably determined evolutionarily. But that’s only one of many possible reasons God wants us to perfect ourselves as a community first and foremost. Our tradition addresses us as a group and by doing so deeply recognizes the cross cultural concept that people are ‘social animals’ and thus, not only can we not live without one another, but our growth as individuals is dependent on a friendly and cooperative social environment in which we live. Indeed, a lot of individual problems, whether they be practical, psychological or even related to health come from the neglect of the social aspects of our life. To quote Aristotle:
To live alone one must be either a beast or a god.
Nietzsche added a third case to this aphorism:
Leaving out the third case: one must be both – a philosopher…
Whether Nietzsche wanted to underline a divine or demonic character of philosophy – we don’t really know, but he undoubtedly pointed to the certain antisociality of philosophers. In this context Hillel, by saying:
Do not separate yourself from the community (Al tifrosh min hatzibur, Pirkei Avot 2:4)
definitely wants philosophers and free-thinkers to be a part of the human community, whether they have anything to contribute at the moment or not.
There are also individual aspects of our confession and our religious experience. Consider how reciting the verses of Ashamnu can trigger our memory: a year is a long period of time and we may not remember all the sins we have commited. Yet it is advantageous that we confess our sins once a year because it gives us perspective and helps to distinguish serious ‘sins’ from minor or irrelevant transgressions: we won’t remember the latter ones and we will not “bother” God with them. On the other hand, the fact that we don’t remember them doesn’t make them automatically irrelevant: there are many mechanisms that make people forget. Additionally, while you may have forgotten doesn’t mean that others have forgotten, especially if they suffered because of our actions. Therefore, the act of reciting the name of each sin should be accompanied by an honest reflection on whether we are guilty of that particular sin? Of course, at this time we have the opportunity and duty to contemplate any moral behavior or sin that is not addressed in the prayer itself.
While our short memory may be an obstacle in our atonement, we should consider a more serious obstacle in atonement, namely blaming others for our own sins. The most radical form of this is called victimhood syndrome, but we don’t have to go as far as that. The feeling of being a victim limits the proper assessment of one’s own responsibilities vs. the responsibilities of others. If I wrongly blame someone else for my misfortune, then my sin, for which I should attone, stays with me and my misfortune as well. By blaming others I lose the opportunity to recognize my sins, take control, ask for forgiveness and do better. Victimhood is an obstacle in atonement. It makes moral, practical and spiritual development difficult if not impossible, because by claiming victimhood you are giving up your power and real change is only possible when you have the control.
Jewish atonement is not the mere act of God’s grace nor something miraculous befaling the chosen. Atonement requires our action, atonement demands free ethical choice, atonement insists on our decision. The sinner turns to God because it is he that has departed from God. The man starts the process of atonement and the way he does it is a matter of his choice. As Leo Baeck put it: “Atonement is the work of a creative man”.
Nevertheless, Jewish law, which is the core of our religious tradition, sets the entire stage for our creative work. For instance, on Yom Kippur we are obliged to ‘set the stage’ by requiring fasting to afflict our souls and detach them from the mundane. According to Mishnah the following actions are forbidden: eating, drinking, washing, anointing, putting on sandals and marital intercourse. Note: children are generally not included in this requirement and, of course, there are exceptions for pregnant women and sick people. Even so, even from them, some form of fasting is also expected. For those who can’t strictly fast there are still ways to have some kind of fasting, some type of affliction, i.e. eating ‘boring food.’ In other words, instead of fancy or sophisticated meals, we are to keep it simple like eating a boiled egg, a piece of bread, etc. Of course, work is strictly forbidden as on Shabbat.
On Yom Kippur “only confessions are permitted” says Maimonides, we are instructed and guided to have a laser focus and a long and deep reflection of our actions. All of this is aimed to purify us, cleansing us, as deeply as possible from the sins and mistakes that we have committed over the past year, in order to liberate us as completely as possible thus opening us to growth, improvement and spiritual enlightenment.
Gmar Chatima Tovah!
Have an easy fast!
Menachem Mirski
